Ask me anything   The wondrous writing-styles of Allison Keller.

twitter.com/allisondiane:

    An “It” Girl for Every Era

    Often confused with the most talked about girl of the moment, or the most scandalous girl of the moment - the “It” girl is a woman grasping at the zeitgeist of a generation. She is effortless and cool like James Dean, while also remaining witty and accessible like a local politician. She has that thing, that thing - the intangible and desirable. She has that one look or posture that could make you forgive her of any shortcomings. She is absolutely original - so much so that there seems to be a representation of her in every era of pop culture!

    Clara Bow - The Original “It” Girl

    Starring in the Paramount Picture “It” (from back when they called movies “pictures”), Clara Bow is the first woman to whom other “It” girls were required to measure themselves against. As the opening credits state, “It” is "That quality possessed by some which draws all others with its magnetic force. With ‘It’ you win all men if you are a woman and all women if you are a man. ‘It’ can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction." And so the bar is set. The 1927 classic is a must-see, especially for those with a pension for the way things “once were” and for those who can appreciate the look of a Roxie Hart haircut on twenty women in a row. “It” is a great old-timey flick to watch and reacquaint yourself with phrases such as “I’ll take the elastic out of your stocking yet,” and “Christmas, is he good looking.”

    Marilyn Monroe - The Tragic “It” Girl

    Ah, Norma Jean. You beautiful, beautiful, sad creature. How we still love to watch you pout into a camera and lay down a line like, “Champagne and chips - isn’t it just elegant!” with the gravity of Bambi on ‘ludes (too soon?). This is the woman who could walk down a New York City street without being noticed, until she turned on her it and turned into “her”, and could then garner a mob-like gathering that would put The Beatles to shame. In no other movie is her it-girl-ness more it than in the 1955 production of “The Seven Year Itch.” The script provides a venue for Monroe to seduce a married man in a way that she appears almost completely blameless. Because, who could blame Marilyn for being Marilyn?

    Audrey Hepburn - The Manic Pixie “It” Girl

    Sure, sure, sure - every girl you roomed with in college had an obligatory “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” poster of Audrey above their desk, and you want to vomit every time you see Audrey’s spine through her clothes in her movies. But just watch the spontaneous, schizophrenic, underground bar dance routine she lays out in “Funny Face.” Now tell me you aren’t completely in love.

    Claire Danes - The Grunge “It” Girl

    That hair! Those 90’s flannels! That “I’m just a teenager trying to act, stop asking me questions” vibe! And, just think how sad life would be if we couldn’t say “Jordan Catalano” over and over again? Jor-dan Cat-a-la-no, Jor-dan Cat-a-la-no, Jor-dan Cat-a-la-nooooo….

    Alexis Bleidel - The Nervous Nerdy “It” Girl

    Look, I’m not just saying this because I own all seven season’s of Gilmore Girls and have digested every episode at least four times - Alexis’ portrayal of Rory Gilmore changed the face of what it meant. It didn’t have to know what boys were before the age of fourteen, or what to do with them. It could go to Harvard! …Or Yale, or Princeton… It could be an anti-social bookworm who eventually interned for Senator Obama (!!) and is probably doing just fine. We’re all going to do just fine, aren’t we? Talk to me Rory - explain it to me in a pro/con list.

    — 5 days ago with 2 notes
    #clara bow  #marilyn monroe  #audrey hepburn  #alexis bleidel  #claire danes 

    *The vagina motif in Ted’s office

    — 6 days ago
    #madmen  #vaginas  #1969 
    slaughterhouse90210:

“Basically, I realized I was living in that awful stage of life between twenty-six to and thirty-seven known as stupidity. It’s when you don’t know anything, not even as much as you did when you were younger, and you don’t even have a philosophy about all the things you don’t know, the way you did when you were twenty or would again when you were thirty-eight.” ― Lorrie Moore, Anagrams

    slaughterhouse90210:

    “Basically, I realized I was living in that awful stage of life between twenty-six to and thirty-seven known as stupidity. It’s when you don’t know anything, not even as much as you did when you were younger, and you don’t even have a philosophy about all the things you don’t know, the way you did when you were twenty or would again when you were thirty-eight.”
    ― Lorrie Moore,
    Anagrams

    — 1 week ago with 843 notes
    WENUS WATCH!

    Summer is in full swing, and we all know what that means - your favorite celebs are out and about with their sexy selves! Get their look (HAHAHAH jk, you’ll never look like a celebrity! kill yourself!) with our latest list of the hottest wenuses.

    1. Miley Cyrus

    No list can start without a picture of the Queen of Controversy, Ms. Rae-Cyrus herself. Here she’s rockin’ the “wenus with a cigarettte” look. Oh, Miley - you know exactly how to make people love you enough that they raise you to god-like proportions only to turn around and publicly condemn you for the power they once bestowed upon you! Fun!

    2. Amy Adams

    Ms. Adams takes the class up a notch with this nighttime wenus look. She dresses up the wenus with a delightful silver number and accentuates her wenus curve with the classic “having an arm” trick! Feel free to take this look from night to morning-after with a casual cardigan and flats. Because nothing says “I’m not wearing a silver cocktail dress” like a cardigan and flats.

    3. Nicole Richie

    Oh, ho ho! Nicole plays a little peak-a-boo with her wenus on completely different days with completely different outfits. How fun! Lucky for us, we have a paparazzo trained on her person 24/7 so we were lucky to sort out these shots from an encyclopedic cumulation of great photos from her day-to-day. Thanks for being a good sport, Nic! We’ll leave the flipbook of your grocery trip from last Wednesday on your bed.

    4-7. Mommy & Me!

    Here to remind us that celebrity culture is a vicious cycle that will eventually be passed down to their unwilling spawn - celeb moms and their child wenuses! See how successfully these moms have lost their baby wenus fat - just like we legally require of them! Also - let’s all stare at these children and idolize them like a bunch of pedos, cool?

    8-9. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield

    We love this - wenuses with a message. And when I say “we” I mean me and the feral cat that wandered into my window this morning. Here we have entertainment’s it couple giving the paparazzo the ol’ what-for with a well-rounded message of what they think we’re supposed to care about. Bravo! We couldn’t agree more! Now let’s move on to more pictures of the Teen Mom children.

    10. Fetus Wenus

    Because your wenus can never look too young.

    — 1 week ago with 1 note
    #wenus  #wenuswatch  #miley cyrus  #nicole richie  #amy adams  #kourtney kardashian  #katie holmes  #emma stone  #andrew garfield  #fetus  #satire 
    Movies To Cure Your Twenties

    If I take another Buzzfeed Quiz on “The 39.2 Ways 25-Year-Olds Feel All The Feels and Also, What Hufflepuff Are You?”, I may just millennial* myself all over my apartment. But, lo! What list through yonder tumblr breaks? It is a list of movies to satiate your ennui and make you shout “I’m not alone!” to absolutely no one in particular. Let’s start from the top.

    *millenial - v., to cynically complain and apologize for one’s own generation and personal actions, while also being defensive. Best done with a beer in hand whilst vehemently gesturing at an empty room at twilight.

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    "Frances Ha" - aka "Dances in the Street of Brooklyn for Two Hours"

    Recommended to anyone with a Fine Arts degree or a propension for getting wine drunk at an adult dinner party and then agreeing to visit Paris at a moments notice. Frances reminds us that even the easiest things to get right, like having shelter and a source of income, are so much easier to get wrong.

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    "Obvious Child" - aka "Poop Jokes"

    Jenny Slate’s latest movie about a young woman not ready for a child is heart-wrenchingly relatable to anyone with a dream and an active vagina. The dialogue is especially engaging to those of us who appreciates a solid poop/fart/dirty panties joke (so, all of us).

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    "Drinking Buddies" - aka "Everyone Owns a Record Player and No One Stays Sober For Any Period of Time"

    Let’s take a break from our Brooklyn heroines (Lena Dunham, you zeitgeist-ing goddess). Here are a couple of Chicago goofs, living in the gray area between “friends” and “friends who sleep in a curiously 69-ing fashion on a couch.” I highly recommend having your favorite craft beer (or twelve) on hand before you get settled into this flick. The salivating begins sometime after Jake Johnson is everyman-adorable, but before Olivia Wilde makes a grey t-shirt and converse shoes look downright sensual. Good for you, Olivia. Good for you.

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    "The Graduate" - aka "Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits"

    Just in case all of us kvetching youngsters think that we’re the first ones to raise our fists to the heavens and yell, “WHY ME?!?!?!” Also, not to spoil a classic movie that was made decades ago, but that last scene? On the bus? When they both just share that moment of realization together but also separately? All of the feels, Buzzfeed. All. Of. The. Feels.

    — 4 weeks ago with 18 notes
    #frances ha  #drinking buddies  #obvious child  #the graduate  #lists  #millenials  #movies 

    I am ungrateful? You call me ungrateful? My life has been stolen from me. I’m living in a town I have no wish to live in… I’m living a life I have no wish to live… How did this happen?

    The Hours (2002)

    Always. The hours.

    (Source: leias, via feypoehlerlover)

    — 1 month ago with 830 notes
    P.S. I’m a Kristy
Before there were Divergent factions, before there were Hogwarts Houses, before there were Mirandas, Charlottes, Carries, and the slutty ones. Before you were expected to align with glittering vampires or overly-aggressive werewolves - there were babysitters. Hardworking thirteen-year-olds (or eleven-year-olds, if you were a junior member) who just wanted to take care of kids in a way that seemed neither financially nor personally satisfying.
Like us, at least 3/8ths of the members seemed to be from broken homes. Like us, some of the members grew up from areas different than Stoneybrook, CT, “A Great Place To Live,” and furiously adhered to the stereotypes therein. Like us, the club had a gang of girls attempting to thwart their every attempt at a good time with seemingly no motivation at all. 
When reading about the ‘Sitters, or watching their feature-length movie, there was no pressure to align oneself with any character in particular. There were no house colors to knit into a brilliant scarf, or “team” to loudly vocalize one’s allegiances to. But it seemed almost natural to associate with one or more of the girls at any time. Were you timid and thoughtful, like Mary Anne? Or perhaps you were a shopaholic/diabetic like Stacey. Did you aspire to Kristy’s plucky, can-do spirit? Or did you want to burn her seemingly endless supply of overall shorts and backwards baseball caps. How many verses did your heart sing when Claudia (aka “Claud”) passed her summer science class because of the rap song the gang performed for her to remember at her test (“the brain, the brain, the center of the chain!”)? To ignore the similarities of one’s own life to these role models, was to ignore one’s own humanity.
Sure, the club had it’s ups and downs. There was boy trouble - both foreign and domestic. There were difficult clients (read: children barely a year their minor) and there were fathers who reappeared after years of abandonment, without notice in the condition of secrecy, only to abandon their kid on their kid’s birthday, in the rain, at a terrifying carnival (read: deadbeats). But in the end, there was always friendship. A hug, a smile, and a slice of pizza - with extra anchovies, the way your sexpot dad remembers you like it. And that’s a kind of club it pays to be a part of.

    P.S. I’m a Kristy

    Before there were Divergent factions, before there were Hogwarts Houses, before there were Mirandas, Charlottes, Carries, and the slutty ones. Before you were expected to align with glittering vampires or overly-aggressive werewolves - there were babysitters. Hardworking thirteen-year-olds (or eleven-year-olds, if you were a junior member) who just wanted to take care of kids in a way that seemed neither financially nor personally satisfying.

    Like us, at least 3/8ths of the members seemed to be from broken homes. Like us, some of the members grew up from areas different than Stoneybrook, CT, “A Great Place To Live,” and furiously adhered to the stereotypes therein. Like us, the club had a gang of girls attempting to thwart their every attempt at a good time with seemingly no motivation at all

    When reading about the ‘Sitters, or watching their feature-length movie, there was no pressure to align oneself with any character in particular. There were no house colors to knit into a brilliant scarf, or “team” to loudly vocalize one’s allegiances to. But it seemed almost natural to associate with one or more of the girls at any time. Were you timid and thoughtful, like Mary Anne? Or perhaps you were a shopaholic/diabetic like Stacey. Did you aspire to Kristy’s plucky, can-do spirit? Or did you want to burn her seemingly endless supply of overall shorts and backwards baseball caps. How many verses did your heart sing when Claudia (aka “Claud”) passed her summer science class because of the rap song the gang performed for her to remember at her test (“the brain, the brain, the center of the chain!”)? To ignore the similarities of one’s own life to these role models, was to ignore one’s own humanity.

    Sure, the club had it’s ups and downs. There was boy trouble - both foreign and domestic. There were difficult clients (read: children barely a year their minor) and there were fathers who reappeared after years of abandonment, without notice in the condition of secrecy, only to abandon their kid on their kid’s birthday, in the rain, at a terrifying carnival (read: deadbeats). But in the end, there was always friendship. A hug, a smile, and a slice of pizza - with extra anchovies, the way your sexpot dad remembers you like it. And that’s a kind of club it pays to be a part of.

    — 1 month ago
    #baby sitters club  #divergent  #harry potter  #twilight  #sex and the city  #stoneybrook  #anchovies 
    Allie Keller: Popcorn Sommelier

    It’s that time of year again. Children are being released from their school-prisons for summer vacation, everyone suddenly owns a bike, and the weather is warm enough that you can wear that maxi skirt but cool enough that the pit stains on your favorite grey t-shirt won’t be super drippy. It’s summer time! Join me in celebration by opening your front door to let in the fresh air, and then ceremoniously closing it right back up to catch up on your favorite binge-worthy shows. Because, let’s face it - America won’t forgive you if you aren’t “current” with the latest Game of Thrones death (SPOILER ALERT: THEY ALL DIE FOREVER).

    But, wait! You haven’t the appropriate snack to pair with your fave telly obsesh?! It would seem as though you’ve come to the right place. Because there’s nothing more American than watching TV with a trough of popcorn attached to your maw. And I’ve got the perfect popcorn recipes to go with the best that Netflix Instant/HBO Go/Hulu Plus has to offer.

    Orange Is The New Black: Cayenne and Smoked Paprika

    Oooooh, girl! Things are getting spicy in the latest season of OITNB. Catch up with Piper and her incarcerated gal-pals with a full-bodied snack worthy of these three-dimensional characters that can kick back. And when I say spicy, I’m not just talking about some hot hot sex in the chapel (I’m lookin’ at you, Nikki Nickels). Get this recipe from Leanne Brown’s Good and Cheap, now available to download online.

    Sherlock: Salt and Vinegar

    Those cheekbones. That logic. Those. Cheekbones… !!! Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legacy is alive and well, and so is my lady-boner for the latest installment of Sherlock. Get into the spirit with some salt and vinegar popcorn, and perhaps a pint of your favorite lager to toast the boys from across the pond. Check out this recipe from none other than The Food Network

    Game of Thrones: Rocky Road

    Guys… guys… guys! I know… I know. It’s hard out there for a Game of Thrones fan. The ups, the downs, the Red Weddings, and the Hound. Always the fucking Hound. Shhhhh… shhshhhshhh… let the somm soothe your George R.R. Martin woes. Munch on some marshmallows, chocolate, and pecans and let it all melt away like a sweet, sweet popcorn dream.

    Pretty Little Liars: Homerun Sugar Corn

    Some of us are grown-ass women watching idyllic white teens deal with unrealistic high-school murders, all with incredible fashion sense. No shame, people. No shame. Suffocate the taste of Lucy Hale’s stupid, infant face with something just as sweet - classic Homerun Sugar Corn from popcorn.org. (Yes, popcorn has it’s own website.)

    Frasier: Fancy Pants Popcorn

    If you’re anything like me, sometimes you just want to forget the ever-present urgency of “now.” Sometimes, you want to forego your civic duty of ingesting as many current episodes of today’s hottest entertainment, and live in a simpler time. I’m talking about the mid-nineties to early 2000s. Back when nothing hurt, and everything could be solved with a classic cut at Roz’s promiscuity. That’s right, the blues are callin’… tossed salad and scrambled eggs, and every episode of Frasier is available on Netflix Instant - hopefully until the rest of eternity. Snuggle up with your America’s best Freudian egomaniac while munching on some very fancy kernels. Feel free to pair with your favorite brand of sherry, whatever that is…

    — 1 month ago
    #popcorn  #summer  #orange is the new black  #oitnb  #sherlock  #game of thrones  #got  #pretty little liars  #frasier